My random thoughts in this afternoon.
Well, this relationship goes very well these days. Things are going fine so far. At least, we’ve synchronized our intention to think that this is not a temporary dating. This relationship has the main purpose, to become one in God’s way.
But, sometimes I feel scared. I’m afraid of going through the same trauma, like the previous one. Though he said that it’s okay to stay in my own belief, I’m still afraid that I’ll do something that may cause a harm for him.
I ever did something stupid. Spreading my love for “people of the house” to someone I liked. I gave him some narrations. Some wise words that I consider very thoughtful and beautiful. But he didn’t think like that. Perhaps, he thought that I just tried to obstruct his interest. While I didn’t ever intend to do it.
I’m still reminded by a wise words came from Al-Hussain, “The one who loves you will prevent you from sin and the one who is your enemy will provoke you towards sin”. All I ever wanna do in this life is to invite so many people to the truth, even if they hate it. Then I know that it’s not easy to do it. That’s why I change myself to be more flexible. I accept the condition that I have to keep silent. Even if I have to live alone forever, I’m willing to stay in this path to suffice myself with God’s love. Even if I have to cry over this destiny, I’m willing to walk alone to please God with all that I can do for Him.
My beloved one, will you still be there if I show you my path?
I know, I must be ready for whatever will happen to me. Die together, or alone.